I have noticed that people are still checking Mom's block regularly, and so I thought I would make one final post today. My dad has compiled a book full of cards, letters, and nice messages people have sent to our family. In looking at all of these today, I found something that was very special that I wanted to share. For those of you who don't know, Mom was in the Relief Society Presidency at her church right before her diagnosis. She was responsible for writing a presidency message every third month, and she wrote her last one in March of 2007, about a month before she was diagnosed. Someone at church had saved it and mailed it to my dad a few weeks back. When I read it, it really meant a lot to me in so many ways and I thought that it could bring some comfort to all of us who are missing her so badly right now. Here is what she said:
"This morning I sat at the breakfast table and looked out the window into the backyard. There were all the beautiful trees with the new green leaves popping out, and with the buds that promised beautiful flowers in a very short time. The work I had done last fall to plant tulip bulbs was starting to show up, with the green shoots coming up out of the soil in the plantar boxes. As I looked at all the new growth around me, I was uplifted and joyful to see all the reminders that our Heavenly Father gives us each year, that all is well.
Each year spring returns, and with it the promises that our Heavenly Father makes to each of us. Spring is a season of promise, a season of hope and happiness. It is a time when we leave behind the ruts and darkness of winter, and invite our spirits to rejoice in the promise of new life that our Father in Heaven reminds us of each year. Elder Richard L. Evans once gave us the assurance, "Spring returned this year. We knew it would, and it did."
May each of you have the joy of knowing that no matter what you face in your life, God reminds us often, that spring will return.
Love Gail"
I plan to leave this blog up for a long, long time to come. I hope that, days, months, or even years later, if you have a memory of Mom to share, that you will please leave a comment here. It is always so wonderful to read and learn more about the wonderful woman that she was.
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Grandma and her kids
Grandma and her kids
My story:
Since many of you don't know what exactly is happening with me, I thought I'd tell my story here. April of 2007, I began noticing that I was having problems organizing my thoughts and saying the right things. Jim convinced me to go see my doctor, who ran an MRI. We got the results back in early May, and the diagnosis was that I have terminal brain cancer called Glioblastoma. The tumor takes up much of the left side of my brain, which makes reading, writing, and speaking pretty difficult for me. I had a craniotomy in mid-May, which confirmed my diagnosis. Through my friends at work, I met a great doctor who has helped me begin my treatments. I am now spending my time enjoying family and friends and living my life!
8 comments:
Dear family, I can't express my disappointment at not being able to attend the funeral, my only consolation is that had I had the choice of seeing and being with Gail or attending the funeral, I would have chosen to spend some time with Gail no matter how short. I do check the blog, its my way of being with her I guess. I was comforted by what she wrote months ago. I also find satisfaction in working in the garden. In this world of instant gratification it has so many similarities to life. You love your plants and place the seeds and than take great care to make sure the roots take hold. Either too deep or too shallow and it will make a big difference. The same soil and different light in the same garden can also change the results. In the end the flower you might be proudest of may not always be the biggest or showy flower but the one that you helped to survive and thrive. Gail planted three beautiful flowers and I know that she was proud of their results. It isn't ever easy to loose a mother and my regards and love to each of you. As old as I am there are still times when nothing would be better than a hug from my mom, you'll feel that way also. I hope to see you all in the future. Love, Joyce
Dear Megan,
Thank you for sharing this very beautiful observation Gail wrote in her final presidency message. It's like she left this soothing message for all of us left behind and mourning, that we may find solace in her words.
I don't know what's involved in keeping a blog active, but I really appreciate you doing this. Although the comment from family and friends may not come in as it was, it will be a source of much comfort for me to visit the blog from time to time, to read the thoughts of others and to share my own reflections of Gail.
Although Gail will always be in my heart, it's comforting for me to know that I'll still be connected to her family and friends through this blog.
Love,
Marianne
Megan,
Thank you for sharing this message from your Mom. I am one of those who keep checking in. I don't know why but I feel the need to check every few days. Maybe I'm still hoping I'll find she's still here.
The other night I dreamed I was talking to Gail for some needed advice. It was so real that it took a few minutes when I woke up to realize what was going on. I suppose it will happen more times as we always shared our joys and worries with each other.
I hope you are all doing well. I'm glad Jim has been able to put a book together - that should bring some comfort to all of you.
As Joyce said "it isn't every easy to loose a mother". I still talk to mine when I need to feel her love and advice. I truly believe that they are there when we need them.
Thank you for keeping this blog up for a while.
Love to all of you,
Linda
Dear Sawyer family,
It seems so strange to come to this blog and not hear any news on Gail. Yet it's stranger still to 'blog on' and not write anything.
Gail has been in my thoughts a lot during the past few days. I email friends and mention that a dear friend has just passed and I go on to tell them what a wonderful person she was. I don't know if it's my way of grieving, but it's sure working.
Memories of the wonderful person that she was and how she "touched" us all helps to ease the pain.
Take care friends, and please know that Gail will always be in my heart.
Love,
Marianne
I had a memory of Mom that I wanted to share... in all of the craziness of politics these days, it made me remember when i was a little girl and even back then she was very active politically. Michael Dukakis was in town for a rally and she loaded Ashley and me up and took us to the rally in the pouring rain. She even encouraged me as a child to write him a letter, and I did. Mom always taught us to stand up for what we believed in and was the perfect example of doing so. Even in her illness, she taught us that a positive attitude and staying true to yourself can work miracles.
Hi Sawyer family,
With Easter just around the corner, it's a good time to reread Gail's message of spring, which gave me much comfort when I read it the first time. It was almost like her message telling us not to despair because we will all be together again.
Although I don't check the blog as often, you are always in my prayers.
Love,
Marianne
P.S. Megan, I hope you were able to find the Hawaiian Sun juice.
Dear friends,
Easter is such a special time of year for me and I will always think of Gail at this beautiful time. I went to Safeway today to buy lilies for the cemetary and saw the many wonderful spring flowers which included tulips. They instantly reminded me of the photo of Gail standing in front of all the beautiful tulips. I will always think of her as she is in this photo.
Take care dear friends!
Love,
Marianne
Dear friends,
Here we go, looking forward to another year of serious baking, cooking, shopping, and surrounding ourselves with loving family and friends during our Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations, and yet my thoughts are of Gail and how much she loved this time of year. I can just imagine what she would be doing in preparation for these very special ocassions.
Whenever I need a boost, I return to this website and immediately feel the comfort and strength that only Gail possessed.
Megan, I thank you again for sharing your last input of your mom with all of us. She reminds me, especially during this time of year, that spring and hope will indeed come again.
I guess it's true that when a person lives her/his life as fully and lovingly as your mom did, their impact on the others left behind has no time limit. I can still feel her strength and comfort reaching out to me.
Take care and feel your mom surround you all, as you prepare for this very special and holy time.
Love,
Marianne
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